


It's All Over, But the Crying

by ThursdayNight95



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Pining, Possible smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:07:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThursdayNight95/pseuds/ThursdayNight95
Summary: a REAL drabble collection lol. they all vaugely follow one thing: Warren, the ex-raider, being head over heels for Sturges. it involves the struggle, some angst, and is gonna hop around everywhere cuz theyre drabbles. Maybe they'll all form some coherent story.Think of this as an alternate form of Duct Tape and Nuka Cherry, which I'll probably abandon now lol





	1. Winter

His tears nearly froze on his cheeks. They stung his skin, and his body was trembling with the cold wind and the sadness crashing over him. He would never be accepted here. He'd fucked up one too many times. Nate was off somewhere, doing... Whatever it is Nate does. Warren should've tagged along. But last time, he'd been yelled at for stealing. Because he was a no good fucking raider.

The grass was frosty. Tough under his fingers. The warm orange glow of the fire was burning out. His stomach begged for more food. But he was out.

"Warren?"

Oh. It was Sturges. He hated how his heart leapt for someone like him. He knew better, though. He got up and disappeared into the Red Rocket. If Sturges saw him crying  he'd forever be a pussy in his eyes.

"C'mon. I brought us some noodles and hot tea. And brought you jackets and blankets."

What an asshole. Warren sat shivering in the corner, nestled between the counter and the metal cabinet.

The rusty door opened and he heard Sturges set said items down. Fuck! Just leave! What the hell did he have to gain from this bullshit? Was he just trying to embarrass, or even shame Warren? Or was this to make fun of him?

He swallowed hard and blew into his hands to warm them. Teeth chattering. Ugh.

Speaking of ugh.

"Warren."

Sturges found him. Not that he was hiding too well. But had several big, warm blankets.

"S-S-Save th-th-those..." he shivered as Sturges put them close, then pulled out two overcoats and a fluffy winter jacket, which looked like the one Sturges was wearing. "f-f-for Sanct-t-turary..."

"We have more than enough." His voice was as warm as the jackets were. "I can't believe they'd turn you away, especially in this goddamn weather..." he muttered, pulling down the soup and spoon and offering it to Warren.

"I'll s-s-spill it..." he showed Sturges how badly his hands were shaking.

Sturges very obviously pitied him. Warren wasn't sure how to feel about that. Though, he didn't have much time to dwell on it. Warm relief washed over him-- or at least his hands-- as Sturges placed the mug of tea in it. Those big, rugged hands over his own, adding more warmth along with the drink...

Warren's heart banged against his chest like an angry super mutant.

"I got a bed in here." Sturges said, voice tight. Warren couldn't place why. But Sturges' eyes were downcast and seemed lost in thought. Occassionally he'd squeeze Warren's hands, releasing a hoard butterflies into his stomach. "Right through that door. I'll make it up fer ya, alright?"

As Sturges got up and gathered the bed items, Warren asked, a sort of fury in his voice:

"Why?"

"Why?" Sturges repeated, meeting Warren's flaming eyes.

"Why are you doing this shit for me, huh?" his voice was gruff. Tired. Hitting that mix of pissed off and intimidating he'd used on so many settlers to rob them blind. "You ever think they're right? Sendin' me off? You here to try to keep me from raiding that shithole?"

"I'm doin' this cuz you've done a lot more to help than you get credit for, Warren." He opened the door and went to making the bed. Warren made his way up, carefully sipping the tea, which tasted pretty strongly of... some sort of leaf. Watching the hardworking man work even more. To fix up a bed for a shitty fucking person like him.

Idiot.

"There. Now keep warm, alright?" Sturges chuckled.

A nice warm bed.

A nice, cozy, warm bed.

Not unlike ones he'd forced innocent people out of.

Not unlike the places he stole valuables from.

Warren didn't deserve this.

He turned on his heel, put the tea down, and walked out, straight into the brisk, icy winds. But of course Sturges promptly pulled him back in.

"Fucker." Warren hissed. "Why don't you sleep in the fucking bed? In fact, why don't you go back to your fancy fucking house, huh?" He demanded. "Tell your friends you stopped wasting your fucking time with me, too."

Sturges knit his eyebrows, giving Warren an apologetic look. His breath faltered as he opened his mouth to say something. Paused.

He had lovely blue eyes.

"Why?"

"Are you really that dumb? You don't think your friends keep kicking me out for a reason? And here you are. Making me a little bed, bringing me warm fucking food like I deserve any of this shit." he spat. His voice was shaking. The edges of his vision were cropping red. Sturges shouldn't waste his time with Warren. Sturges deserved better. Nate, Preston, the farmer by the water pump... Not a worthless piece of shit like Warren. A scumbag.

Goddamn it, Sturges looked so distraught. Why? Was he gonna be sad that Warren wasn't gonna give him more gifts?

"You helped us. You protected us from a goddamn Super Mutant attack! You gave us all better guns and more supplies..." he ran his hands through his hair. "They treat you like shit. It ain't fair."

"It is. I'm a raider."

"Ex-raider." Sturges said lightly. "I don't like raiders. And you're not one of them. Not any more. You're on our side..." He took a deep breath and fixed his scarf. "Ain't ya?"

"I'm on your side. Not theirs. Fuck em." Warren gave in. Removed his shoes. Got under the blankets and sighed with pleasure. Warmth!

"And yet ya still protected everyone." Sturges had such a gentle fucking smile... Goddamn it. He went through the file cabinets and pulled out a hot plate, then plugged it in and  put it on the night stand, next to a hot-rodders magazine.

Oh. Sturges slept here. The embarrassing revelation finally dawned on him. The heat he'd regained went straight to his face.

"Yo."

Sturges looked up from setting the bowl of soup and tea on it.

"You sleep here a lot, handyman?"

"Maybe a week or two a month. The blankets are clean though, I promise."

"Uh..." Warren cuddled deep into the blankets. Peeked up to look at Sturges, who was looking preoccupied again. Lost in thought. "Uh. Thanks... you. Thank you. Sturges."

"Huh? Oh. Yer welcome. My doors are always open to ya. Even in Sanctuary. If they'll let you in. I'll leave ya alone now, though." he smiled sheepishly and made his way out the door.

Warren sighed. Oh, there was a semi-working heater in here, too. Sturges must've turned it on. All for a douche like Warren.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sturges is intrigued and wants to make friends. warren is hostile, as usual.

Every so often, the General would come back to Sanctuary with someone. Always someone semi-popular. The mayor of Goodneighbor, Nick Valentine, Piper Wright, namely. The others were more unique, like Strong and Curie. It always made him a bit nervous when he would come touting that huge super mutant. Though usually he only came back to drop off some loot.

The most unremarkable (in some sense) person he’d brought by recently was this guy named Warren. Loud and brash, always walked away when someone was talking to him… Sometimes Nate could be heard admonishing him for stealing things, and that they’d bring them back tomorrow morning. Warren had a gruff voice, muffled by the gas mask. Loaded with leather armor and a stolen pip-boy.

And while he was very annoying around others, he seemed to always have something for you. Which was odd, considering he barely even talked to you, and when he did, it was just a rough ‘here.’ when he shoved gifts in your arms. Usually a Nuka Cola or some old, worn tools. As long as they weren’t stolen, it was fine, but he was certainly an odd one. The town agreed that they’d prefer Strong to Warren any day. At least Strong didn’t go out of his way to annoy others like this guy seemed to do.

Though… You didn’t really agree.

“Ehh… Let’s not go to Diamond City right now.” Nate said, rubbing his neck. “Remember when you took some cram and almost got us killed?”

“Food is food. Sorry I think 50 fucking caps is too much for nutrition.” Warren muttered. “Whenever you go back without me, bring me some power noodles.”

“… If I remember.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” Warren pulled out his gun. For a moment you felt sick. But he pulled out some cloth and and a stick right after. “So… When are your friends gonna catch me with my pants down and blow head clean off? I figured if you were man enough to do it, you would’ve done it at the library.”

“You don’t trust me?” Nate asked, watching him pull his gun apart.

Warren didn’t reply.

Would it be weird to walk into their conversation? No, just keep fixing up the houses. The windows are almost done. Might as well finish that.

+

Warren was alone when you walked up to him. At a weapons workbench, working on a different gun than before. That mini-gun Nate used to mow down the raiders at the Museum. Interesting.

"Afternoon, Warren." You were careful not to startle him, you'd seen him knock someone out for that. And of course half-apologising after, but not really.

"Here to gawk like most of these people do?" He didn't even look at you. Or maybe he was, you couldn't tell with the mask. But he seemed to tense, then hunch his shoulders and busy himself with the minigun's barrel. "H-how do you know my name?" His voice was much quieter.

"Well, I hear the general sayin' it a lot." you shrugged.

He messed with one of the vents on his mask and took a deep breath.

"Uh... G-go away. I... I don't have any gifts... Today."

"I didn't come here for gifts, just wanted to get to know ya a little better." You admitted, leaning against the wall. "Everyone Nate brings back to Sanctuary seems to be pretty special one way or the other."

"Are you callin me retarded?"

Damn it.

"No? Just wanted to know yer story. You seem to be good with weapons."

"Of course I am." he looked around and pulled his mask down and adjusted his clothes. "Wow, it sure is hot out here. Uhh, bye."

Before you could stop him, he ran into the house. It was your house that all this was stationed in, but you'd let him off the hook for that. Poor guy. Though honestly, it was kinda cute. What a damn gem.

+

Nate and Warren returned a few weeks later. Nate with more food, crops, and supplies. Warren had guns. Lots of them. Guns and stuff for building.

"Fuck right off." he was hissing to the merchant, who had refused to buy his shotgun. "It's better than that piece of fucking shit you got rottin' in there. That fucker will fall apart the minute you shoot it. And you have the fucking nerve to charge 500 caps for that shit!"

Chills went down your spine, and it wasn't the November wind. You'd heard that voice before.

"You're lucky I don't blow your fucking face clean off." Warren continued harshly.

Nate ran over and pulled Warren aside.

You continued nursing your beer, watching this spectacle from afar.

He was probably more dangerous than any other companions Nate brought by.

"You need to stop that. Seriously." Nate said firmly. "Stop threatening people."

"So they can keep sucking us dry? Some assholes don't listen to reason. That con-artist is one of them. He's taking advantage of you and your settlers."

Nate sighed and massaged his temples.

"Let's just eat some dinner, alright?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You're always hungry."

+

Warren was indeed hungry. He seemed to always go off somewhere to eat. Nate never followed, but then again, Nate was busy. You grabbed your own food and got up.

"Everything alright, Sturges?" Preston asked.

"Yeah. Just that Warren guy. Seems really riled up. Gonna go eat with him." Would it go well? You were sure he'd get up, say how hot it was, despite the cold weather, and leave when you spoke to him. Still, no one should have to eat alone.

"Good luck."

You found him. He was sitting at the far end of the river. His green mask was off, but he had thin, dark mask underneath. His eyes and mouth were free. What was he hiding?

"Heya, hot shot. Got room for one more?" you greeted. He froze and looked at you, then quickly looked away.

"Uh... Uh... Sure..." he stammered, wiping his mouth and fixing his mask. "Who dared you to come over here? I-I already gave you a Nuka Cola..."

"I didn't want nothin' but a conversation from ya." You smiled and sat down with him. "I don't know much about you."

"Good." he said after swallowing his bread.

Hm. You bit into your own bread and pulled out a Nuka Cherry. His eyes went wide, and he seemed floored as you handed it to him.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Guess I lied, I know a few things about ya. You like Nuka Cherry. And I always see you with Fancy Lads. And you like guns."

"That's all I got." he said sheepishly. "Why are you here? For real?" His voice was still gruff, but it was nice to listen to.

"I didn't want you to feel lonely."

"You don't want me to shoot everybody is what you're trying to say. Everyone elected you to come out and talk to me to keep me sane until me n Nate left so I won't use that minigun right?"

What the hell was he on?

"You have a real imagination. Look, I know a guy doin' his best when I see one. When you get angry like you did with the weapons guy... Not gonna lie. I got scared."

"Great."

"..." you watched him open the Cherry and take careful sips of it. Savoring it for a bit. "You seem like the raider type."

"Nick Valentine's got some competition, doesn't he?" Warren scoffed.

"Look. I'm tryin' to make friends. If you don't wanna be friends, I get it. But I'll be here when you need me." You began to get up. But the pain in his voice...

"Don't leave. Please."

You sat back down.

"I don't feel like telling my whole life story. I just wanna sit and eat."

And so the both of you did.

Nate eventually caught the both of you throwing rocks in the pond. Warren had been airing his greviences on modding the mini-gun. It won't do as much damage, but it won't take up as much ammo. But it's what Nate paid him for.

"Oh, hey Sturges."

"Evenin', General. Did ya eat well?"

"Sure did. Kinda sleepy now. You takin' care of my friend here?"

"I'm not a goddamn child." Warren muttered. "He was lonely so I just... I let him sit with me."

You saw the severe doubt in Nate's eyes. Still, he accepted it. Probably because he didn't want to upset him.

"I see why you travel with him so much." You said to Nate. "He really knows his stuff." You didn't see, but Warren's eye twitched.

"His weapon modding is crazy good."

His fingers twitched.

"Warren, you ready to go? Or wanna stay the night? Cuz I'm tired as hell."

"Then go the fuck to sleep, moron." Warren scoffed. "We don't need your ass gettin' shot cuz you're asleep."

"Look at this goddamn sass king here." Nate chuckled. "Where ya gonna sleep? You can share my bed, or I'm sure the hotel has open rooms. Fully made beds and all."

"I got a big bed too." you offered.

"Look at you lavish assholes." he gathered his things. "I'm sleeping alone. Fuck off, both of you. Nate, your stupid Minigun is in your house."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda like his hostility! this was written a while ago.


	3. Warren's Holodisk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warren documents his time and emotions on a holodisk

** ***** _ **KEEP OUT. IF YOU'RE NOT ME YOU'RE PROBABLY NATE OR NICK. GET OUT OF HERE.**_ ***

** **//1st day in Sanctuary** **

Lots of boring assholes around here. Not really assholes, I mean, but they're boring fucks. If Nate wasn't looking for his dumbass son he'd probably be wasting his life around here. Doing squat but growing shitty crops and getting balked at for caps.

Not gonna lie, if I still ran with the raiders, this would be a great place to take over. Water purifiers, showers- FUCKIN SHOWERS. That's how much decent water they have here, steady supply of food, and caravans and merchants drop by all the time. Can't tell you how many Nuka Cherrys Nate gave me for free, either. Dumbass doesn't like them, he's missing out.

So apparently Nate used to live here before the war. The blue house with the baby crib. Vault-tec shoved everyone in freezers, and he was the only one who got out. Vault-tec... Assholes. I don't get the point in hurting people unless you're getting money or food out of it.

** **//Preston Garvey** **

I heard tales about the Minutemen. They were all shitheads. Some of em lived in Libertalia and turned to raiders. Weird to think about. Preston Garvey... in the flesh. And apparently Nate's the general of the whole shebang. A waste of time, I think, but I'd be happy to change my mind. And if I get to travel with Nate and shoot the fucks who screwed me over, even better.

Preston pretty nervous seeing me. I still have that raider aura, and it's not something I plan on changing any time soon. Nate vouched for me and said us travelling together is 'safe, sane, and consensual'. Then snorted like he made a joke. The dude's a fucking crackhead.

Preston's fucking whipped, cuz all he said was, 'if you trust him, then so do I.' Must be nice to have so much power.

** **//Fancy Lads** **

These shits are still as good the hundredth time as they were the first. Honestly I could live off Snack Cakes and Nuka Cherry. Lucky for me, Nate provides. Really glad I didn't shoot the guy.

So yesterday we went to scavenge around. He wants to build a radio beacon. That's asking for trouble. He admitted he didn't know how to make one, but we grabbed some metal shit and screws and bolts and what the fuck other junk. I found some desk fans and folders. Great, right? Speaking of which, I also hacked into a terminal even Nate couldn't get into. I wanna call this guy a fucking moron, but he's not from our time. He's not even a ghoul. He woke up one day and the world was fucked up. So I'll cut him some slack.

Unfortunately the only shit I found on the terminal were some emails. Boring.

** **//HANDYMAN** **

Holy shit. I've seen attractive people in the commonwealth before. Hell, Nate's a goddamn 10/10, but I feel nothin but friendly for him. But this fuckin handyman with duct tape on his belt? I couldn't even make words. I kept stuttering like a dumbass and when he looked at me I had to look away. Holy shit.

His name is Sturges. Maybe I can make friends with him once I start acting cool again. He likes fixing things, I like modding things. Two heads on a brahmin, right?

** **//Codsworth** **

There's a Mr Handy here. Nate's old friend. He's pretty cool, has that cool accent. Nicer than all the other Handys I've met. Course, a lot of them were fuckin dead and stripped of their parts. He called me 'Mr Warren' like I was someone important.

Fuck, this dude was out trimming hedges for 200 years? He said he was just carrying out his duties. I'm just surprised he survived this long. Guess not many people travelled around Sanctuary and Vault 111.

** **//Diamond City** **

Diamond fuckin City. Bullshit hellhole of the commonwealth. Course, I say that, but I'm just angry they drove me out for takin a can of cram. They have a little jail there, why didn't they throw me in there? Maybe then I'd hate the assholes there a little less.

Well, except Takahashi. Makes the best noodles. Great conversational partner, too. I bought some duct tape and noodles for the handyman. He was talking about them to someone a few days before we left.

** **//dkdjdoenevrnd** **

Why does my brain shut off when I try to talk to him?? He's just a fucking shitty settler. I don't know shit about him, and there I am, stuttering and blabbering like an idiot about some fucking mirelurk noodles. And he's got this damn smile so handsome it's pissing me the fuck off. Fuck!

He was really thankful that I thought of him even though we barely spoke. I needed to take off my mask and breathe after that. Shit. My kind don't know how to deal with this... Or I don't, at least. Then again, everyone always said I cared too much and hurt too little. I just told them I was saving my rage for when I really needed it

Anyway... I'm having a hard time thinking. I haven't felt this way about someone since I had this fling way back when. He was a backstabbing bastard.

Besides, what would a boring ass settler want with a badass like me?

** **//Whispers** **

They're all talking about me. Everyone in this fucking place. When Nate isnt here, no one sits next to me during dinner. I mean, I don't blame them. I'm too cool for them. But even us raiders ate together. I end up sitting in Nate's house scooping beans out of a can alone. I half hoped maybe the handyman could read my mind and sit with me or something, but he sits with the bitchy lady and the sad sack and the fortune telling lady and Preston. Everyone's got their little group.

Nate isn't here because he's headed back to his Vault to gather some things. He said it was personal, so I assume he's gonna mope around his wife's frozen corpse. Poor guy.

So I'm left with people whispering about me.

"That raider's up to no good."  
"He drew a gun on me for tapping his shoulder." Which was true. Instinct n all that.  
"He's always whispering to himself."  
"I don't trust him."  
"Why did Nate bring him here?"  
"He's such a goddamn creep."

I wanted to make a scene. Took everything in my power to not scream and draw my gun to make everyone shut the fuck up about me. But it would just prove them right.

Not to mention, I can very clearly see the guards watching me. And only me.

I hope Nate comes back soon. He's the only one who bothers to understand me.

** **//Guns n bullets** **

I give Sturges duct tape because I know he likes it. He tolerates me and doesn't avoid me, even though I'm a fucking buffoon, especially without Nate around.

I heard people talking to him while I was at the weapon bench.

They said I'm trying to kill him. Why would I do that? He hasn't done anything to me yet. They told him to watch out. Like I was going to hurt him. Lucky for me he was skeptical and just said something like, "appreciate the warning, but I think he's just bein friendly".

They didn't believe him and went on and on about me. I'd finished cleaning my gun and I decided to walk in and try to talk (even if i get tongue tied around Sturges), but the guy shouted and fled. Like I was a monster.

"Hey there, hot shot."

He called me hot shot. I had my arms folded like a badass, but damn if my knees didn't go weak.

So I stuttered out a hello like a fucking retard and lost my train of thought like three times... He told me he noticed I was at the weapons bench a lot and asked me about my guns. Like he gave a shit.

My dumbass went on and on about how I liked pipe pistols cuz they were easy to mod, but they were really weak for maybe an hour. He listened the entire time. He has blue eyes. Buff arms, too. And apparently he was paying attention because he asked about grips and shit most people don't usually follow up with. It's usually just a 'cool.' or 'whatever.' No wonder I talked so much. Fuck, I'm embarrassing.

Still, I... I can't help but wanna make this guy a real nice gun. He has a shitty pipe gun. I might try to find him a better pistol. Maybe a 10mm. But he said he doesn't like using guns. He doesn't like violence.

What world does this dude think he's living in?

** **//NATE'S BACK** **

Finally. Good ol' Nate returns. Brought a lot of shit, too. I didn't ask him about his trip back to the Vault. If he wanted to talk about it, he would. Now, back to travelling this shithole world!

** **//Synth Component** **

That synth thing I picked up off of Boulder Guy when he died is apparently called a "synth component". I knew the synth part, at least. And apparently Nate knows the Railroad. Of course he does. What a fucking goody-two-shoes gettin cozy with the Minutemen and the Railroad. He asked how I managed to not get it stolen and I told him I kept it in the pockets inside my armor. Then he asked why, was I gonna sell it?

I couldn't really answer. I never thought about it, it was just something I wanted to keep. I didn't give a shit about the dude who got crushed by a boulder, but this "component" in his head just... I dunno. It was a morbid curiosity. He asked how the others felt about knowing one of our raiders was a synth.

I admitted I never told anyone. I knew it'd be a bloodbath. Even thinking about it now gives me the chills. Ugh. Sometimes I wonder if I have one of those in my head, too. Someone'll activate me and I'll turn on everyone. What if I replaced the real Warren? What if Nate's a synth? What if Sturges is a synth? Fuck the Institute.

** **//Weird feelings** **

The handyman came over to the little shack I made a ways from Sanctuary. Like, he took it upon himself to come visit me. Nate's been busy in Diamond City the past few days (and after the drama that happened last time he said the guards need time to cool down, so he didnt let me tag along), and I do what I usually do when Nate's not with me. Other than jerking off, of course. I scrounge for shit, I mod guns, and I go far far away from these Sanctuary assholes. My heart yearns to be near water, so my shack (which I'm currently writing from) is kinda near the river. Close enough for me to guard Sanctuary, and far enough for most not to fuck with me.

Except Sturges. Luckily I wasn't jerkin off. He  was kind enough to call my name.

"Hey, Warren? It's Sturges. Brought you some stuff."

It could've been a set-up, but I didn't really care. Besides, handyman never seemed like the backstabbing type. Well. Until he does. But that was not today. It was weird when I saw him... My chest got tight, and when he smiled I needed to vent the mask I just fucking put on.

Anyway, he brought me some stuff in that plastic pumpkin I gave him. Nuka Cherry, Fancy Lads, some ammo for my gun (he got the type right, too), and vegetables.

I said some stupid shit after that. I was just too... Too overwhelmed.

"Of course you'd bring me all this. You're scared of me, arentcha? I'll take this offering, thanks."

Then he said something that made me freeze.

"It's just you n me out here. You don't have to act all hard for anybody."

If I didn't overplay my Raiderness, I'd turn into a fucking bumbling idiot, but he had a point.

"As long as you don't tell your bitchy fucking friends. I already know they're fuckin' stirring up all sorts of shit."

"I'll keep quiet. It does suck that no one will give you a chance. You're a real sweet guy at heart, I think."

I wanted to get up and run. Far. Embarrassment hit me like a rad storm.

"Well, you're wrong. But thanks."

"Why else would you keep givin' me gifts? And help me fix things around Sanctuary even though you hate the place?"

"Cuz I like spending time with you, dumbass."

I actually said that. What a fucking moron. Holy shit. I got up fast after that, but he called my name again. This fucker had me wrapped around his finger.

"Well then spend time with me. I like your company."

I hid my mix of embarrassment and joy in a low grumble about commonfolk and how they have time to waste. But I sat back down and we leaned against the wall.

We must've talked for hours. When I was focused on talking to him and not my stupid feelings, it was a bit easier to control. It felt real nice to talk to him without being scrutinised and stuttering every fucking word I spoke.

The sun was setting before I knew it. We shared the snack cakes, but he turned down the soda, saying he only liked Nuka Cola. I told him he was a moron and was missing out. Then I told him he was missing dinner in Sanctuary.

"It's alright. I had a great time talkin' with ya. Let's do it again, huh?"

Then I did the fucking stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire fucking life. And I've done fucking retarded shit.

I said,

"Do you wanna spend the night?"

God. It was like everything we'd built up had  been crushed. He didn't look disgusted, but he looked like he didn't wanna be here. I don't blame him, though. All I have is a mattress and some shitty metal panels and wood. He has a home in Sanctuary.

"Well, you can come over to my place if you wanna. I got spare beds."

"So this shithole's too good for you?"

That made him pause. I made him uncomfortable. I wasn't even sure how to make it better. But staying in Sanctuary without Nate to keep the settlers from killing me was not an option. I didn't feel safe there. I told Sturges I didn't feel welcome there.

Then he gave my shoulder a squeeze and said, "You're welcome under my roof. It can be your real sanctuary, dig? But if you're not comfortable somewhere, you're not comfortable. Just know you're welcome in the yellow house, alright?"

I told him thanks.

Then I slept in my bed. Alone.

** **//Lonely** **

Did I do something to upset Nate? He doesn't wanna travel with me as much anymore. And Sturges doesn't venture any further than the Red Rocket and my place unless he has to. I have no one to travel with.

Course... I'd hate to travel with me if I were Nate. I steal shit and he hates that. He's gotten on to me about it, but sometimes I do it without thinking. And my words are harsh and threatening, but how else do we get what we want or need?

I'm real lonely. Lately I've just been fixing up my shack. Lying awake in my bed.

Sturges visits me more often, though. I like that. But when he realises I'm a huge, worthless scumbag, he'll leave too.

I don't know. I'm depressed. I need someone to cover me when I go explore, and I have no one. The odds of a wandering merc appearing in Sanctuary is slim to none.

Not that anyone likes me anyway.

I'm gonna go explore the wastes. If the wasteland kills me, who cares.

** **//Surprises** **

I made it back to my shitshack with some new guns and food and random shit (and a magazine, some duct tape, and Nuka Cola for the handyman), and went to take a nap.

But imagine my shock when I hear someone calling my name. It wasn't dreamy or like a pre-sleep voice. It was clear. Then I heard a knock at my door.

"Dunno if yer back yet, Warren..." it was Sturges! Goddamn Sturges! "If you're still gone..." he didn't finish his sentence. Let me tell ya how hard it was to put my pants back on despite having jelly for legs.

I slammed the door open (he jumped) and greeted him all cool-like. Goddamn, his smile... And he said "I was worried about you" in a soft voice... No one's ever been that soft to me. Took eveything in my power not to start crying. Cuz I'm that much of a fucking pussy, apparently.

"You think I can't handle myself?" I meant to say it, like, angry because I was a bit annoyed, but my fucking voice betrayed me. He chuckled and shook his head and pulled out a bag.

"Yer my friend's why." he said. Inside the bag were Fancy Lads, Nuka Cherry, and some mods. Holy shit. "When you leave for two months without sayin' a word... It got me kinda worried."

I didn't say anything. Mostly cuz I had no idea what to say. The quality of the mods were by no means the best, but damn if he didn't do his best. It seemed like he had some of Nate's help, too.

Fuck... Nate.

But most importantly, Sturges. This poor motherfucker. Worrying about a piece of shit like me. Me! Fuck, it got me angry enough to make me see red. I don't know why.

So I told him to go fuck himself. And while I told him, my voice cracked and my hands shook and I had to sit down.

He sat down next to me. He didn't say anything. He was probably enjoying this.

I said,

"Fuck you for giving a shit about me! You're wasting your fucking time and energy on giving a fuck about someone like me! I fucking hate you!"

Y'know. Like an unstable freak?

All he did was sit closer. Enjoying how I was breaking down.

I got so angry I went inside, slammed the door, went to type this, and now I'm taking my fucking nap. I'm going back out after this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was a part i was gonna write next called 'apologies' but i never wrote it! guess warren's muse wasn't feeling it. i dont usually write first person any more. super embarrassing for me. but I really really like writing second person with an established character. and third person of course. so first person isnt usually my cup of tea, ya dig? idk it feels waay too personal


	4. self contained story...? I think?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one seems self contained and unfinished. ends where it ends. i think...

Sturges’ lips were a thin, unamused line. Warren was back in Sanctuary. Luckily this time he was alone, no feral ghoul tagging closely behind and no dud grenades.  
“Did ya fix yer damn head while you were out, or are ya back to take our food and leave again?” There was no friendliness in his voice. “Or maybe scare our settlers and fellow Minutemen out of their damn minds? Cuz I ain’t havin’ it, Warren.”

Warren stopped walking and acknowledged the handyman. Snorted and continued walking.

Sturges was awful brave to yank a heavily armed man’s shoulder like that. Even braver to not back down when Warren’s glare was as dangerous as it was.

“I dunno who you * _think_ * you are. I don’t like fightin’, but yer really pressin’ my hand here. Until ya straighten yerself out, think about all the things you’ve done, we don’t need * _you_ * disturbin’ the smallest place of peace we got in the damn Commonwealth. Ya dig?”

Warren pushed Sturges away. Fingers twitched. He wanted to grab his gun. But he shoved his hands in his pockets and kept his eyes steady on this newly appointed bodyguard.

“Who made you king of Sanctuary?” he spat. “You’re gonna deny a man food, shelter, and water because he plays a few pranks?”

“Those aren’t pranks and you goddamn know it. You could have gotten those folks killed. And on top of that, you took half our damn food supply and never give anythin’ in return. I was bein’ nice– really thought you had a change of heart.” what an odd tone of voice. “But at this point, yer breachin’ dangerous territory, buddy.”

“You think cuz I was a raider I’d turn on you guys, is that what it is?”

“I won’t lie to you, it’s been on the back ‘a my mind. I think folks can change. But maybe you should do some soul searching. Maybe tag along with the General when he stops by. I mean, I still haven’t forgotten when you went all the way to Diamond City to get me some noodles cuz I mentioned them."

Warren folded his arms and shifted his weight on one metal boot. Tried to clear his thoughts and count to ten. Why the fuck was Sturges smiling like that? It was a small one, but it was still there. Stupidly distracting, too.

“Whatever, goggles. There’s nothin’ in this stupid settlement I want anyway. I’ve raided mutant camps better than this place.”

“And yet ya keep comin’ back like a goddamn radroach.” his voice was tight. “I wanna like ya. I like makin’ friends. But with how yer actin’, it just ain’t workin’ right now. Come back when ya got yer head on straight.”

“You’re goddamn lucky this place is loaded with turrets.” Warren muttered. “And… That I respect you a little bit. Not that it means shit anyway. I’ll be back, damn it.”

Sturges nodded absently and signalled the guards. For a moment, cold fear gripped Warren's stomach. Was he going to be killed?

Oh thank god, they were just opening the gates.

And so Warren went on his way, muttering about the stupid handyman and the stupid farms in Sanctuary.

+

It was a few weeks later when Warren returned. He'd been in the back of Sturges' mind after he left, mostly out of curiosity. Was he killing innocent people out there? Could Raiders really change? Was he going to come back with a gang and try to waste everyone there? People had whispered and started rumors when Warren was first let into Sanctuary. He had made a beeline straight to Sturges (who was working on fixing up power armor for the General), and told him:

"I love your goggles, man."

He smelled like bourbon and cram. His speech was slurred. But he didn't seem so bad. They didn't call each other friends, but they were certainly on decent terms, and Sturges seemed to tolerate him and treat him better than most of the folks in Sanctuary.

And now he was back. Sturges found his heart racing. Uncertainty crept up his back like a spider and gave him shivers all the same.

"Man, just bring goggles out here. I don't want in too far into this damn place anyway." he could hear the ex-raider's gruff voice. "Or at least give him these. Found 'em while I was scavenging."

Sturges made his way over, curious but cautious. The guards at the gate had their guns pointed directly at Warren's masked head. The assault gas mask was more patched up than usual. He had new armor, though, or upgraded armor with more pockets. In his arms were a mix of magazines and a baggie.

"And these are, like, seeds or whatever. For your stupid fuckin' farms." he continued to the guards. "It was a pain in the ass to find them, and to get a settler to sell me things without her begging for her life."

"Well, ain't you a sight for sore eyes." Sturges smiled. Warren froze for a moment and looked away. "Guys, lower your guns. If he wanted us dead, I think it would've happened already."

"Yeah." the raider said gruffly. "I found you assholes some corn and tato shit to plant. And melon seeds. So enjoy that, I guess."

Sturges took the things Warren was unloading onto him, and led him to his house. Neither of them said much, just thinking to themselves about how much of a threat the other was, or could be.

"Thank you, really." Sturges said earnestly, sifting through the seeds. "These look great.  I can get these to our farmers. And these..." Hot Rodder magazines. Goddamn. They were legible! Impressive.

"I dunno. Found 'em and thought of you. Read them. Or don't. I don't give a fuck." His shoulders tensed and he clenched his fists. His body language was awfully... "A-and stop smilin' at me, damn it."

"It's not every day I get some readable magazines. Especially ones like this. ... And it'a nice to know yer thinkin' of me when you're wanderin' around."

"Someone like you is hard to forget." Then he added hastily, "Because you're so goddamn... I dunno! Don't get too in love."

"Don't worry, I can't fall in love with someone I've only ever seen wear a mask." he said offhandedly, leaning against the wall, still smiling gently at Warren, who was steaming.

"G-good, then. Great. Anyway, I need a place to sleep. I figured since I brought gifts, maybe Your Highness'd allow me a sleeping bag or something somewhere..."

"Sure, I can spare one." he pushed off the wall and peeked around-- a few spare mattresses on the ground, perfect. "But ya gotta stay tomorrow. So we can put ya to work."

"You're a damn slave driver. But fine." Sturges could practically hear his eyes rolling under that mask.

Damn, those mattresses were like new. Apparently the General had found a way to sanatise and clean his materials pretty damn well. In fact, each time Warren came back, the place looked a bit cleaner. Since the folks here weren't fighting for their lives, they had nothing better to do than clean. They even cleaned their bodies! Warren would have to get into one of those baths or showers or whatever tomorrow.

"Uh, blankets... Lemme ask Preston where those are."

"Blanket? I'm no pussy, I don't need a blanket."

"There's frost on the ground. Yer gonna be pretty cold."

"It's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

Something odd flashed in Sturges' eyes. But he shrugged, said he'd get some anyway when Warren changes his mind, and went to find Preston.

+

Sturges woke up extra warm. Sometimes when he woke up warm, it was because Dog Meat came in and cuddled up or the heaters kicked in.

In this case, the idiot who decided to sleep without covers for some sense of pride had made himself comfortable and cozy underneath Sturges' blankets. For a minute he wondered what kind of life Warren lived out there. Did raiders cuddle for warmth?

Either way, it was 5am. Time to get to work. Since Warren was here already, he tried to think of ways to wake him up.

He came back with some lightly cooked cram and mirelurk eggs, having eaten his portion, and knocking on his own door.

"Rise n' shine, Warren Peace."

"Ughh."

Warren wore a mask under his mask. Interesting. Considering how scarred his arms were, he could probably imagine the damage on the guy's face.

"C'mon, we get off days on the weekends. I'll start ya off on some real easy work. Alright?"

"Nooo... I can go collect materials..."

"We got plenty of people for that. C'mon, get up."

So he did. Yawned, stretched. Damn, the guy was buff. And awfully warm. Sturges was tempted to get back into bed for the body heat alone.

Warren got up and scarfed the food down once Sturges turned around, then put his mask on.

"I gotta few coats for ya, too." He said, laying some wool and leather coats on the bed. "I don't wanna hear ya talkin' tough about the cold, then end up runnin' in my arms when the wind blows." it was said lightly, jokingly.

"Pfft. Whatever." Was all Warren said, not even able to look in Sturges' direction as he slipped on the extra clothes.

+

"Becoming friends with a raider is the stupidest thing you've ever done. If he brings his raider gangs in here, or another bunch of fake grenades, I'm gonna shoot him myself."

Sturges nodded. Marcy had very valid points, he didn't deny he worried about those same things.

"He's readjustin'. It'll take some time." Warren was now busy lecturing a random settler on keeping their gun clean. His work with the generators was exceedingly well done.

"You're only saying that because you like him." she muttered. "I'll never ever forgive a raider. I can't believe that you would!"

"Slow down now. I ain't never said I forgiven him for his raider ways. But he quit for a reason. Maybe he has a conscience, unlike the rest of 'em."

"Whatever."

+

"Do you have any coffee?" Asked Warren, sat awfully close to the fire barrel.

"Coffee? We might have some in the restaurant. Since ya did some great work today, I'll get ya some."

"Thanks for being so patronizing." Warren muttered.

"Sorry if it came off that way. But ya did do a  lotta great work today. If no one else appreciates it, I do."

He only looked away and warmed his hands.

Sturges came back with a hot mug of coffee and some snack cakes.

"Aw shit, I love those." There was a smile there. For a moment Sturges ached to see it.  But the moment passed and now Warren moved his mask. Pulled down the lips to the ski-mask. And ate. And drank.

"Why d'ya wear that? If ya don't mind me askin'."

"Ever seen a raider without a fucked up face? I think most people could mistake me for a ghoul. I think it's fair, considering all the shit I did while I was a raider."

"What made ya give up the raiders?"

"Somethin' about killing innocent people felt wrong. I was more about the stealing and some light intimidation. Each innocent life I took... Started to weigh on me. It made me more sick each time. Folks laughed at me for being a pussy, so I left." he shrugged. "I was tired of running with them, watching them kill for fun."

Sturges smiled lightly. He noticed Warren's eyes through the ski-mask look at him, then meet eyes, then quickly distract himself with the coffee and cakes.

"W-would you stop smiling at me?"

"Sorry about that." Sturges sipped his own coffee. "It's nice to see raiders turn around like that. I know some of em just do what they think they have to to survive."

"A lot of them are afraid."

Sturges nodded. Warren turned fully to face him. Okay, weird.

"Uh..." he looked around. "Sorry. For all the shit I did before. And thank you for all the help... Most people just spit on me or shoot me. It gets me real angry. When you turned me away a month ago, it kinda clicked that I was turning back into that savage asshole I used to be. The one place that let me in... And I was shitting it up."

Warren looked to the steaming coffee. Gloved fingers idly messing with the icy slush around the fire barrel.

Sturges sat closer and pushed some more snack cake towards him. He didn't smile at him, though he really wanted to. It was hard to respond to that without saying something weird. Well, maybe this would be enough.

"People with kind hearts are always welcome around here."

"So why did you let me in in the first place? I was still an asshole. I shot your General. Not fatally, but I still shot him."

"Look, I'm not gonna pretend like I know everythin' or whatever... But Mama Murphy said she saw someone who would become prominent in my life, just a few days before you showed up. Then you came over and said you liked my goggles. I dunno if it was wishful thinkin' or coincidence, but I imagined I'd made a new friend."

"And you really thought it'd be the ex-Raider?"

"I've made friends with super mutants before."

"Well, aren't you the social stingwing? Or the filthy fucking liar." Warren snorted. Then sighed. "Or... really desperate for a friend, if you have to come to me of all people."

"I'm none of that. Just a person. Humans wanna be social, make friends, find that one person they can just cling on to. I like to think me and Preston are close friends after everything we went through. Me, Mama Murphy, Jun and Marcy..."

"Hey, get off your ass." A settler muttered, sitting on his own ass next to the fire, a fierce glare on Warren, who gave him one right back. This is one of the assholes he'd probably shoot on sight if he wasn't itching for some affection right now. "Some of us work all day for this food, and you sit here and eat it."

"Let's just calm down." Sturges said firmly. "He's been workin' pretty hard for someone who ain't used to it. Dunno why ya had to come over here, though, there're other fire barrels."

"This is the one closest to the water spout." the settler said.

"Yeah?" Warren's voice chilled them more than the cold did. "You sure you didn't come by to gawk and stare at me like everyone else does?"

"How can you even sit near someone like him?" the settler asked. "Didn't some raiders almost kill your group in Concord?"

Concord?

"This isn't about that. This is about Warren. Not the other raiders."

"I gotta go." The coffee and cakes were abandoned and Sturges' secondary source of heat was gone. Well, other than this overwhelming anger. Warren's boots stomped through the slush and towards the bridge.

"Hey now, come back!" Sturges called, following after. But he'd pushed through the gates and crossed the bridge.

+

Mama Murphy.

Concord.

Museum of Freedom.

Of course.

And of course Sturges would waste his time coming out of the guarded, safe settlement he called home to talk to him. Why? What a goddamn idiot.

"Look, I dunno what was wrong with that asshole. I'm sorry about him. Just likes to start drama." A hand on his shoulder. Light and friendly this time. Cold.

"Go get back where it's warm, you jackass. You don't need to worry about me." Warren shivered.

"Too bad. I ain't gonna let my buddy freeze his ass off out here."

Warren peeked around. What buddy? Maybe this was a trap. Damn it, and he walked right into it, like a bloatfly into a deathclaw's mouth!

"I meant you, Warren."

"No one wants me there. And you know what? I don't blame them. I wouldn't want me around them either."

"You're shakin' like a leaf. C'mon."

"What are you getting out of this, Sturges? Some sort of fulfillment of putting me back in society? Or are you being nice because you're fucking scared?"

Oh.

That was an odd crack in his voice.

"Your psychic grandma shouldn't rule your life. She's fucking crazy. I... I... Don't like this. I don't like how nice you are to me. You're just doin' this to make you feel better about yourself, aren't you? Be honest with me. I mean... I didn't earn your honesty, but I want it anyway, damn it. Don't string me along!"

Sturges stepped back and took all that in. The clouds were clearing, bits of bright blue were spotted in the high, high clouds.

"I think everyone deserves a second chance. Yeah, I'll admit, I wanted to know what Mama Murphy meant by you being someone prominent in my life. Or even if she wasn't talkin' about you, I wanted it to be about you anyway. Or at least to know more about ya. I ain't lookin' to say our vows or to get cozy in bed or nothin'. I just wanna know ya, for the man you really are. I was and still am curious."

"Fuck off, then. I'm not a circus attraction. And I'm not gonna bother your little settlement friends anymore."

"You're gonna leave because some asshole sat down and talked shit he didn't know about?"

"I don't belong with your kinds of people. Too soft. And it's rubbing off on me." he shuddered.

Sturges didn't like this. Not one bit. But,

"If that's how you really feel, I won't stop ya. But at least let me give you something before you go, alright?" he quickly left Warren standing there.

"... A wrench and... Duct tape...?" And his mask and his guns. "What, you think I'm a handyman?"

"They can come in handy. I've been usin' 'em for as long as I can remember."

Warren squeezed the bundle tightly and swallowed hard. Trembled.

"I don't carry much shit around. It always got stolen." he said gruffly. "If this is so important to you, keep it."

"No take-backs, sir. Now you stay safe and warm out there, alright? Sanctuary's always open to you."

+

What kind of idiot kisses him? Sure, it was quick, on the cheek, and he put his mask on and left a millisecond later, but jeez. Fucking moron. It's fine, Warren didn't plan on coming back. Maybe he'd just continue wandering aimlessly around the commonwealth, scavenging. Or protecting the area around Sanctuary, at least.

+

"Hey Sturges,"

"Well, if it ain't the General. Nice to see you again." Sturges looked up from the nearly completed house wall. "Here to unload?"

"Yeah. Got us some supplies. You... You look tired."

"Do I? The light switches have been all out of sorts since the wind blew a tree into 'em." he shrugged. "Don't look so worried, we got the tree fixed."

"I also got a letter for you from some raider in Diamond City. And he gave me some caps and Sugar Bombs. Not sure if those were meant for you, but take 'em anyway." Nate said with a light shrug.

Sturges felt... Odd, to say the least. It had been months since he'd even heard rumors about seeing that damn man, and it worried him sick. 75% of him was relieved. The other 25% was scared of what he could have gotten into.

"Thanks, General. Uh, if yer here for Preston, he's patrollin' around. Last I saw, he was back by the farms."

"Thanks Sturges." Nate smiled.

The note. His hands were trembling. Mouth dry.

'Sturges.  
Who knows if you'll ever see this message? Fuck, who cares. It's real stupid I'm even thinking about you, isn't it? Well, surprise. I'm real fucking stupid, if the last moment we had together was any indicator.'

He blushed slightly.

'Anyway I've been using your duct tape and wrench. Not for bashing heads, though that'd be great. Just for building new armor. So yeah. I'm writing this in Diamond City. I'm staying here a while. And I've got something else to tell you. Something I don't like, but I have no one else to tell.'

He unfolded the bottom of the page, releasing his breath.

'I'm a synth. And I'm scared. I didn't know. What do I do? I never had any problem with synths as long as they weren't fuckin' with me, but me being one? Am I an Institute spy? You probably won't get this anyway. But you're the only one I'm comfortable talking to, even if it's on paper. If I get taken back to the Institute, I just wanted to let you know you've been the only one who's been nice to me, ever. I'm gonna go into hiding.  
  -Warren'

+

He didn't expect to see the vault dweller again, nor did he expect the vault dweller to recognise him.

"Hey, you're Sturges' friend, aren't you? The one at Diamond City?"

He felt sick.

"Fuck off, alright?"

"Calm down, lower the gun. I'm a man of peace. Well, until you shoot me again." Nate chuckled. "Anyway, fancy seeing you here. The guy's been worried sick about you."

"Tell him to stop it, then. What, he send you all the way to buttfuck nowhere to find me?"

"Well, he did give me a letter and some Fancy Lads. He told me to be on the lookout for you, if I could. To be honest, I didn't think  I'd ever see you again. So, here." he handed Warren the letter, which was taken with hesitation. "And maybe you and I can travel together. I've taken down Institute coursers before, so if you're afraid of those,  don't worry. You're in good hands."

"The fuck is a courser?" Warren demanded. "And did you ask this stupid asshole why he still fucking bothers with me?"

"I didn't pry too much. He just seems to care about you a lot. Hell, I barely even know you, but I know Sturges has an eye for good--"

"Enough, I've heard enough." Warren  said gruffly and sat down to read the damn letter.

'Warren,  
There's nothing wrong with being a synth. Though I imagine that's a scary thing to deal with, especially alone. I'm not gonna lie, I've been worrying about you so much since you left that I think I actually got myself sick. Of course, it might've just been allergies... But I'm... Dunno. I know you can handle yourself out there  You've done it for who knows how long.  
I'm on your side. And if I have to fight tooth and nail to protect you from the Institute, I will. Make sure you're keeping safe out there. I should've given you some power armor or somethin'.  
And maybe I should've kissed you back. Dunno. I'm not too smart about romance-- I'm a handyman, not a love doctor.  
I hope you come back someday, when you're ready. Synth or not. If the General gives you this letter, you're in the most capable hands in the whole commonwealth. I trust him with my own life. And, he works for the Railroad.  
If you're gonna come back to Sanctuary, tag along with him. I'd love to see you again. We could talk about the whole synth thing face to face.  
  - see you soon. Sturges.'

Asshole. That goddamn prick. Of course he'd try to drag him back to Sanctuary. And of course, Warren being Warren, he folded his arms and said sternly to Nate:

"Take me to Sanctuary, vault dweller."

Nate snorted. "Well, I wasn't here on an escort mission. Wanna stick around till I make my way back?"

+

"You're still thinking about him, huh Sturges?"

Preston. He'd been in an impromptu meeting with the militant Minutemen, talking about... Guard stuff, surely.

Sturges finished up the paint on the house and gave Preston a sort of sad smile.

"It's stupid, ain't it?"

"I don't think so. I'll admit, I don't think I've ever seen you more happy than when he was around. He proved himself to be on our side anyway. Mama Murphy said he wasn't a danger to us."

"When did she say that?" Sturges blinked. He stepped back and looked at the house. Surely most of the houses looked like they did pre-war. On the outside anyway. And they looked damn good.

"She stopped me when I came to check on you. And I noticed you haven't been eating much, either."

"Just been too sick to my stomach lately is all." he shrugged.

Preston patted his shoulder. "They've got some antibiotics in stock at the store. Take some of those and get some rest."

"No rest till this place looks better than before."

"You're gonna work yourself to death, Sturges. Ever since we got here, two or three years ago, you've been working your fingers to the bone. You need breaks."

"... Thanks for lookin' out for me Preston. I guess I'll go get some of that medicine, and maybe a beer. Wanna join me?"

"I wouldn't mind."

+

"So what got you so infatuated with that raider? Just curious."

"I dunno. The first time I saw 'im, he complimented my goggles. I guess it imprinted in my mind that I gotta be in love with him or somethin'. He started bein' real friendly, then turned back into an asshole..."

"Oh, I remember * _that_ *."

"So do I. But he changed twice. From a heartless raider, to an asshole, and now he's misunderstood. No one will give him a break  and no one will give me a break for being friends with him." The beer tasted sour, but it's not like he wasn't used to that. "Then he found out he was a synth. Somehow. I dunno. It's hard to see a good man go through so much and I can't help 'im."

"I have faith the General will find him. He's on a Minuteman mission, and maybe Warren'll be there."

"Maybe. Maybe he'll bring him all the way back to Sanctuary, some asshole'll say somethin' and he'll run away. Again." he said bitterly. "What an asshole."

"He's an ex-raider. I'm sure there's a lot for him to take in. He's overwhelmed. Or was, I guess."

"Imagine my luck. Falling in love with someone like him."

"You can't help who you fall in love with. Luckily, he's on our side now."

+

"I can send Sturges over here, if you want." Nate said, done storing some things in a chest labelled with his name. "I can understand not wanting to go to Sanctuary, but you're certainly welcome. Not every day a raider takes a bullet for me."

"Don't get too sappy." he sat on a chair and sighed with relief. "I knew it'd be real suspicious if you died when travelling with me."

Nate chuckled and deposited some water into some sort of contraption and let it run.

"Don't send him over here... I don't wanna see that goddamn smile. Or frown. Or whatever the hell he's gonna give me. I just wanna rest."

"Well... Alright. But I should let you know that this place is basically his second home. Comes here to work on the big machines, or just to be alone." Nate explained.

"What kind of asshole comes to relax in a wide-open place like this? This shit is so easy to raid."

Then he noticed just how many turrets were around. Suddenly he felt very nervous.

"If you tell him I'm here, tell him not to be all mushy gushy with me. It'll just piss me off."

"Hey, I'll try. He seems to really care about--"

"Yeah yeah, I get it. Whatever. Thanks for letting me... Travel with you."

"Any time, Warren. I wouldn't mind doing it again. Now I'm gonna go to Sanctuary."

"Have fun."

So Sturges lived here? All alone at a Red Rocket? Judging by the Hot Rodder magazines (including the one Warren gave him) and the many things 'fixed' with duct tape, it seemed likely. A comb for his stupid hair. Lots of Nuka Cola. Blueprints. A locked terminal. He was positive the password was 'radio', but he couldn't place why. Still, he didn't test it. He just decided to sleep on one of the mattresses near the chem station. If he got killed then he got killed.

He woke up to a box of snack cakes and a cold Nuka Cola. Wow, that was awful nice. But he felt too embarrassed. Maybe too scared. To get up and look for him. He didn't know what he would say. Maybe sorry. Or maybe he'd run away.

"Ah, you're up."

Sturges. He was here. And walking towards him. Before he could say anything, he was pulled into-- into a... hug? How weird. How... Nice. Warren hugged him back. It was sort of awkward, he wasn't used to hugging. This sort of softness had been lost... who knows how long ago.

"I dunno how to get it through yer goddamn head that you worried me sick. That you need to stop running away."

"Sturges, I--"

Oh. Was he... Crying?

Oh shit.

Really?

"You don't have to go to Sanctuary if that place ain't for you. I get it. But I'm gonna be real selfish and ask you stay with me. Only for a few weeks, at least. Will ya? Please? It's just you an' me out here."

"W-why me?" he didn't quite know what to say or do. But Sturges crying was awful and hurt his heart. "Why do you keep hurting yourself and getting so fucking worked up over me?"

"Because I feel something for ya, alright? If you don't want this to get too friendly or romantic, say the word, but goddamn it, you just won't leave my heart."

+

[goddddd this shit is terrible]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stories is the same


	5. CAPS CAPS CAPS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warren gets excited about caps

“What’d you find now?” Nate asked, a mildly amused look his face.

“A fuckin’ shit load of caps, bitch!” Warren cheered showing him about 500 caps. “I didn’t even have to crack open a crate or a lock. I wanna go to Diamond City now. Are you comin’ with?”

“You sure they’ll let you in? Remember a couple months ago?” Nate bit his lip. “… Mm. They’ll probably let you in if I go with you.”

“Fuck yeah.”

“Dude, I’ve literally never seen you this happy before.”

“Well, Sturges was talking about needing new shoes. And that lady sells shoes. They look good, too. And I was gonna buy some more stuff to keep working on his gun, and then I was gonna buy myself some more ammo and food. And THEN.” he took a breath. Jeez. Nate couldn’t see his face, but he could hear how big his smile was. “Then I’m gonna take him to my favorite fishing spot.”

“Wow. Look at you, you romantic!” Nate grinned, lightly punching his shoulder. “Finally! You’ve only been pining for him for what, two years?”

“I-I…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s nice to me. Nicer than anyone else in that hole. And he’s got a smile that I can’t stop thinking about. So… Yeah. I’m gonna go for it. Maybe I’ll buy him some more tools, too.”

“Remember, though, he doesn’t need any more duct tape. We had almost 500 rolls last I checked.”


	6. emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warren talks to nate about his feelings

He cleared his throat. Shuffled his feet. Scratched his neck.

“Uh… Nate? Can I… Talk to you?”

Nate yawned. Checked the time, looked up through the holes in the roof, then leaned against the headboard of his bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I dunno… Nothin.” Warren said quietly. “Never mind. Get some rest.”

“Hey get back here. We’re friends, come talk to me, idiot.”

“I… I…” Warren vented his mask and took a deep breath. “You were in love. You had a wife. What was it like?” he made himself comfortable on the end of Nate’s bed and held onto his elbows tightly.

Nate smiled sadly. “It was… Wonderful.”

Warren heard his voice crack. Fuck. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s fine. When you’re in love, it’s like you have a reason to wake up in the morning again. She makes you smile, laugh, you never want to imagine your life without her.” he chuckled lightly. “And once you’ve lost her… Everything changes.”

“So… It’s a huge, huge risk.” Warren fiddled with lace on his boots. “Not only did you lose your wife and your son grew up to be the biggest boogeyman in the commonwealth, but… You lost everything… You’re pretty brave.”

“You been drinking, Warren?” Nate asked.

“Can never go wrong with whiskey and cola, Vaultie. But no.. I’m not drunk. Just a little buzzed.”

“I guess your boyfriend’s asleep.”

“He’s– he’s– I-I…” Warren was at a loss for words again. “I can’t. I can’t fall in love, Nate. I don’t wanna. I’m so scared. Everything I love gets ripped away. You killed the only buds I had over at Backstreet Apparel.”

Nate swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.” he said earnestly.

“Don’t be. They shot first… And now you and me are friends. Which is really fucking weird. To think I could have a friend like you. Someone who isn’t a fucking dumbass raider hopped up on chems, getting us killed by ghouls, and fucking killing innocent people… It’s nice to be around such good people.” Warren sighed. “It almost doesn’t feel real.”

“Is that why you keep disappearing?”

“A little. I just need time far away. Or by the water. Something to keep my mind from getting… Like this.” he shrugged. “Has… Sturges said anything about me recently?”

“I haven’t asked. He’s been talking to Preston about you, though. Says you’re great with modding guns. He’s glad you’re here.”

“Is… that it?” Warren untied his shoe. Tightened the laced. Re-tied them.

“Uh… Yes.”

“Okay.” He started to get off the bed until Nate called out to him.

“No, I mean. You two are close, aren’t you? Why don’t you talk to him about it?”

“Cuz… Cuz I’ll get… weird. I’m lucky i can finally speak to him now. I don’t wanna start gettin’ all stuttery and retarded again.” Warren shrugged.

“You love him, Warren?”

“Don’t ask me that. I already said I was scared. And if I ruin things with him… Well… I dunno what I’ll do. He’s… He’s a different kind of right, you know? You’re right as my friend. Someone I can trust. Which I don’t say easily. Don’t make me regret that.” Warren said firmly. “But… I feel right when I’m with him, too. Even when we’re just sitting at the dock with some beer, you know?”

“Take your time. But don’t take too long, either.” Nate said quietly. “I’m goin’ back to bed. You can sleep in the spare room if you want.”

“Nah… I don’t like being in this place.” he said of Sanctuary. “See you in the morning.”

“Good night, Warren.”

“Night, Nate.”


	7. lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hancock tries to help

“Hey, if it isn’t the Commonwealth’s coolest handyman!” Hancock greeted, shaking hands with Sturges, who laughed.

“That so? Whatcha need, Mayor Hancock?”

Warren looked on in fear. The gap between him and those two was too far to shut him up. What were they talking about?

Nate seemed intrigued by how tense Warren was standing and looked over his shoulder.

“So. Good news. You probably already knew this, too.” Hancock smirked. Then pointed a finger at Warren. Made a heart with his fingers. Then pointed at Sturges, a smile on his face.

Warren couldn’t gauge Sturges’ reaction because Warren ran straight into Hancock and sputtered out something like, ‘I like the way you fix shit, don’t listen to this asshole!’

Sturges chuckled softly and helped both of the men up.

“Whaddya say about takin’ ol’ Warren out for a try?” He attempted to lean on Warren’s shoulder, but Warren was gone.

“Pretty hard to spend time with someone when they spend so much time runnin’ away.” Sturges said quietly. “You alright? He ran into ya pretty hard.”

“Don’t worry about it, he does it a lot.”


	8. T8-43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fucked up if true

He fell in love.

It stung. It stung like fucking hell. But he was happy. And that's all you could ask for.

Before T8 had found his love, he was wreckless. Chaotic. A horrible person. Of course, you had been the same.  And like you, something changed in T8. He began to see how fucked up things were and decided to change. He left and went on his own.

T8 went to Goodneighbor plenty. Stole from it often. Went back a few months later with tons of jet and caps to apologise.

In the Third Rail, he'd always find you. He was almost always drunk. Running from something. But he crawled over to where you were sitting and lay his head on your shoulder. Part of you wondered if his memory had really been totally wiped. You wanted to reach for his rough, scarred hand and squeeze it. But it was wrong to begin with. So you just let him sleep.

Then the idiot came back with a broken leg. They nearly had to replace it, but luckily he recovered the more serious parts quickly. All that was left was for him to let it heal before running back.

What a small world it was. Him knowing Nate. Getting involved with Sanctuary.

'I know you.'

Each time he said that it felt like a punch in the gut. You remembered his soft lips. His sweet whispers. His heart beating against yours.

'I'm gonna fucking remember where you're from, goddamn it.' he muttered at the bar. 'But you just like to sneak around everywhere, don't ya? Nate said he saw you in Diamond City.'

'Buddy, me n my clones are everywhere.' You joked.

He seemed more annoyed than angry. And more annoyed at himself than you.

He confided in you.

'I'm... I think I'm in love, Deacon.' he said one night, sniffling. 'With someone I don't deserve.'

He deserved the world.

'Sturges, right?'

It was extremely obvious. He seemed to light up at just the mention. His face would get soft and his voice would seem airy or excited. He was always looking for tape or tools or magazines to bring back with him for Sturges. And damn, Sturges loved him right back.

You couldn't ask for anything better for T8. He'd worked so hard to become a better man. And they made each other happy. Sturges held him so close and looked at him so warmly, it made you melt from a mile away. T8 was a gentle soul. Sure, he got mixed up in some shit, but who doesn't?

Unfortunately you were only human. And jealously would quell up to the point it made you sick. He'd said he would look for you. He'd find you, and you two could be in love again. You told him the truth, as much as it pained you. You couldn't. He was basically your client. You wouldn't feel right about it.

He looked up at you, a shaky sigh left his lips. He squeezed your hand tight. And kissed it.

He'd found you. But he didn't fall back in love with you. Sure, he flirted, but it was all banter. You could tell he had someone in his mind.

Goddamn it.

"You alright, Deek? You're goin' pretty hard on that drink there." Warren said, swishing his own drink, a look of concern on his face. "Last thing we need is a drunk spy slobberin' tons of fucking secrets at us."

You sipped your drink carefully. Watching him. He was in a better place in his life. He was happy. That made you happy.

"Yeah, man. I'm just fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


End file.
